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Archive for the ‘anthropology’ Category

Faux-hawk

After several months of research, a recent study was finally released that officially stated what many had assumed for years: at any given point in time, roughly 80% of queers have identical haircuts. Though it is not known what the exact root of this phenomena is, many anthropologists have hypothesized that it may be an evolutionary trick developed to aid queers in spotting each other in a crowd.

Several researchers have also hypothesized that similiar haircuts are simply an advanced form of queer merging (future post). For those new to studying queer culture, merging is the queer term for the common practice of queer couples becoming more and more visually similar the longer they remain coupled. Many anthropologist’s have wondered, “If two queer people in close proximity over time begin to physically appear the same, why not entire cultures of queers?”

     

Since the turn of the century, numerous queer haircuts have come in and out of popularity. From roughly 2000-2003, the faux-hawk was quite popular (fig. A). It was eventually phased out by queers when it was adopted by heterosexual male clubbers and American Idol contestants. The next style largely adopted by queers appeared from 2004-2007 in the form of the fashion mullet (fig. B), which only recently fell out of style, as a result of Christian Siriano’s appearance on the TV show Project Runway, which was when the style officially “jumped the shark” . The newest (and tamest) development in queer hairstyles emerged in late 2007, and is called the side sweep (fig. C). Little is known of it’s origins so far.

When examining these styles along a timeline of their popularity, a trend seems to emerge. Queer haircuts expand and become more severe, until they eventually (and quite literally) collapse on themselves. Fashion mullets are simply extreme versions of faux-hawks. And what is a side sweep but simply a flattenned and deflated fashion mullet? Anthropologists studying these trends have predicted that the next evolutionary step will most likely be something “puffy” (fig. D), and is expected to arrive by summer 2009.

MAKE SURE TO VISIT MY MAIN BLOG, GAYCONDO!

 

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Fig. A Short-shorts party!Over the several decades in which cultural anthropologists have been studying queers, none has been able to explain to connection between non-normative gender/sexual expression and the strong desire to wear short-shorts.

Though the direct correlation is still being researched, what is known is that queers will find any excuse to where short-shorts.  Occasions in which this apparel choice occurs vary.

Queers are commonly known to be the record holders of the “shortest shorts at the gym” award.  Also, sports of choice for queers are frequently those in which short-shorts are considered acceptable attire (gymnastics, kickball, track&field, golf).

However, the territory in which queers are most likely to be spotted partaking in this particular cultural activity is at any costume party. Several thematic variations exist, but the most common form taken is as any stereotypical type of person from the 70’s including but not limited to: police officer’s, roller-derby girls, biker’s, go-go dancers, hippies, or people with mustaches.

The most highly developed form of this cultural activity, the queer short-shorts party (fig. A),  can be wittnessed only in densely queer geographic areas (i.e. Portland, New Orleans, New York and San Francisco).This particular thematic form of celebration forgoes the umbrella term of “costume” used by non-queers, and simply requires that participants come as themselves, except with an inseam of less than 3″.

If you find yourself invited to one of these parties, it is important to remember that any non-queer sensabilities you may have about appropriate attire must be ignored. If you are unsure of the correct garment to be worn, a fail safe choice is to attend in your underwear (excluding boxershorts) only. This will not only help you to blend in, but it will gain you the respect of your queer fellow celebrators for your overall outlandishness.

Some ogling is to be expected, but relative safety can be maintained by avoiding the dance floor entirely.

FOR MORE, CHECK OUT MY MAIN BLOG: GAYCONDO!

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